Lead Singer Goes Solo
Lead Singer of Fart Hearder, James Tilton, has announced that he plans on going solo.
“I’ve been talking to Sarah (Tilton’s girlfriend) and she thinks Fart Hearder is just holding back the genius that is James Tilton,” Tilton announced to a mostly empty conference room at the Airport Hyatt. “So, check out my new gigs at the Knights of Columbus Pancake Breakfast and the Bing County Fair.”
Eddie Pacos, sole contributor to Black Metal Weekly, a free zine offered through his website, was shocked.
“I couldn’t believe I got a press pass. No one reads my zine,” Pacos explained.
In the interim, Fart Hearder plans to go on as planned.
“Fart Hearder does three things well: 1. Playing Megadeth covers; 2. Covering for an absent lead singer; 3. Hating Sarah. I don’t think much else will change.”